Thank YOU, Ben Roethlisberger

The hapless Oakland Raiders knock off the defending SuperBowl champs, and I'm out of the Eliminizer. If you missed the game, here's all you need to know:

3-7-OAK 7 (9:49 4th Quarter) (Shotgun) 7-B.Roethlisberger pass short middle INTERCEPTED by 23-C.Carr at OAK 0. 23-C.Carr for 100 yards, TOUCHDOWN.

This is the most public of my many humiliations.

OH, THE HUMANITY!

The 2006 NFL Eliminizer has finally turned into the slaughterhouse that everyone was counting on.

Oakland 22, Arizona (-3) 9


Seattle (-6.5) 13, Minnesota 31
  

Houston 27, Jacksonville 7
  

Kansas City 30, San Diego (-5.5) 27
 

And now the final four

Yawn.

Everybody wins, again.
See you in Week 17

Choose your own adventure

This week was a crucial turning point for the Eliminizer: Half the pool was invested in one team, and that's usually when dreams start getting crushed.

Like any major publication, the Eliminizer Newswire had two stories ready to send to press:

EAGLES WIN! NOTHING TO SEE HERE Well everyone, it looks like the eliminizer is going to rage on into the playoffs, as everyone avoided the axe in a very predictable week four.

EAGLES LOSE! OH, THE HUMANITY Well everyone, it finally happened! Brett Favre found some magic in his arm, and a botched drop kick attempt has left the Eliminizer decimated!

As it stands, we have 13 contestants entering week five. That's probably some kind of record, but it's impossible to know for sure.